The Sandwich and the Stink-Man

I have been commanded to start a blog.  No, it wasn't by God, or even those inner voices.  My wife has been harassing me for months to start a blog, and she finally just said I had to.  So I caved.  And now, I'll share with you some of my stories of pilotdom.  I'll start with last week.

I have flown a whopping ten hours this month so I don't have a lot to talk about at work.  I had two reserve days on duty, where I'm on call.  I didn't expect to get called to go fly, so when I flew from SFO to Chicago, I went straight to the El train to go to my brother's house, where I stay.

Now, I'll preface what happened next by saying I'm a big believer in karma.  You do good and it'll come back to you.  And vice versa.  On the train, the signs and announcements say no eating or drinking.  I almost never eat on the train, but this time I was just starving, and I had to eat the sandwich I had in my bag.  So I take it out and unwrap it, and also open up my yogurt.  Yum!

Instant Karma.  No sooner than I had taken my first bite out of this delicious turkey and cheese sandwich (they're always yummier when someone else makes them) than a large bearded, dirty  man came on board.  I'm not talking about any old bearded, dirty man.  I'm talkin' seriously messed up hair.  I'm talkin' dir-tay.  And I'm talkin' stink-y.  He sat right behind me and the stink was overwhelming.  I couldn't breathe in, couldn't eat, couldn't even concentrate.  This was karma kicking me in the rear.  Every time I breathed in, I gagged.  I tried to take a bite of the sandwich, and only caught a waft of the stink-man behind me.  I even had unusually devastating gas that day, and decided to let one loose.  That actually helped-- temporarily.  And my fart was nasty, too.  No, not nasty-- Nas-tay.  But it was an improvement.  It was all I could do to keep from throwing up.  I'm serious, I almost blew chunks all over the train.  So I packed up and got off the train on the next stop, and went to a different car.  Ahh, my sandwich.  Unimpeded by stink-man.  Wonderfully, delicious, stink-less, turkey & cheese sandwich.

So yeah, I may have some fun stories about work.  Maybe not as exciting as landing in a river, but still fun.  But instead, for my first blog, you get the sandwich and the stink-man.  Keep an eye out and I'll tell you all the secrets of the airline pilot fraternity.